DO YOU HAVE THE COURAGE
I received an email from an old client the other day. I am always tickled to hear from my ex-clients. Let's call him Don to protect his privacy. Don initially came to see me a couple of years ago.
Here was his history in a nutshell. He was in his late 30's, lived with his mother
and his two children. He was never married, and the mother of his two children was in prison at the time we met. He was unemployed and collecting Social Security and Disability Benefits.
He had what he called a "love-hate" relationship with his mother and this relationship had been this way for many years. His children had a basketful of issues, including poor grades, drug abuse, truancy, legal problems and authority issues.
Don himself struggled with severe depression, chronic pain issues and on-again off-again drug abuse issues himself. He had terrible self-pity. He felt dumped on by the world. He felt like a victim!
There's grave danger in being a victim, even when you HAVE BEEN VICTIMIZED. You see, victims have no power. And since they
have no power, as Don believed, they feel there's no hope for change, except if someone comes along and saves them from their circumstances.
I am a very visual person and by the second session I had a powerful visualization of Don's circumstance. I shared it with him. It went something like this...
"You are in a simple boat, adrift in the ocean.
There is no engine. The oars have been long lost.
In the boat with you is your mother. The fog is so dense that you can only see the outer rim of the boat edges and that's all. You're starving for
food, for nourishment. You've called out for help.
I am standing on the shoreline. You don't know me from Adam. I have heard your call for help and I am responding. I'm yelling out to you in the most serious manner, that the current is pulling you away from shore, from solid ground. In order to get to solid ground you have to trust me. Don says, what must I do? You have to jump from the boat into the fog and swim towards the sound of my voice, towards freedom. His mother overhears the conversation. She laughs at him and reminds him the boat is the ONLY safe place to be. They've lived there most of their lives. Don finally becomes desperate and angry enough about his situation that he dives overboard and begins
swimming towards shore. Behind him his mother cackles like an old hen
who knows her young will be climbing back into the boat very soon. I'm still yelling from the shoreline. Don hesitates, grows weary... my voice is blurred out by the waves crashing at him. Ironically, he can still hear his mother loud and clear. He nearly drowns, but makes it back to the boat, climbs in and collapses in exhaustion. Of course, you know what his mother says, right? Yes, you know... "I told you so!"
That was Don's struggle when he met me. Upon our meeting, he didn't magically grow wings and fly to shore. Lasting change rarely works that way. He made many attempts to leave the boat and ended right smack back inside of it.
But, I planted a seed. This seed is the most powerful seed any of you can nurture, care for and grow. It's the power of a "DECISION." You have the power to make a DECISION. Don's opinion of what or who was holding him back was his mother and an assortment of other things. What's yours? Is it depression that's holding you back? Is it anxiety? Is it your beliefs about your abilities? Is your money beliefs in your way?
Don decided to take his future success into his own hands. He decided to take off his VICTIM hat and cast it away. Don is now living on his own. He's off welfare and employed full time in a business he loves. He has two powerful certifications in information technology and is currently double-majoring in Business and Cisco
Technologies. All from the power of a decision.
From his last email I'll simply quote his final line to me:
"I am still swimming for that shore and getting closer each and
What will your decision be?
What is the HOTTEST question you would love to have the answer
to? Email it to me and receive a fre-e
professional therapist coach response, either in this
newsletter or on my website.
promote other coaches, but I would be doing you a disservice if
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As the old
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Judge A Book By It's Cover."
This is the
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a look for yourself
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