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Google has launched a video search engine! So last weekend, my son and I played with making some short-take vidoes. You can see 4 of mine on couples advice at http://video.google.com Type in "couples advice" and you should see 4 videos. Enjoy!



How do you react when you are under pressure? What is the first thing you do when you are being criticized intensely for something that you have done a poor job on? Do you get all shaken up and distraught or do you handle yourself with ease? Do you get offended when people correct you, even though they may be right?

Class is often defined as the old saying goes: grace under pressure. Regardless of who you are and what social and business circles you hang around in, there comes a time in everyone's life when we suffer some type of humiliation that is brought on by another person who is offering constructive criticism. And depending on the business or the personal circumstances, it may happen more than once.

Are you prepared to handle such nervous situations? Do you know what to do and how to react? There are hundreds of books that cover thousands of tips and tricks of how you should react, but in today's article we are going to cover how you should not react if you are dealing with criticism.

1. Do not make excuses. If someone is criticizing how poor of a job you did at home or at work then do not make excuses for yourself by blaming someone else. Take responsibility. For example, if your manager did not find your work satisfactory and has made you aware of it, never say "Well I have not been feeling very good at all lately because you have been making me work so much, and it's not my fault that I was too tired to do a good job on the project".

2. Never loose your cool and cry. Do not break down and cry and say such things as "You have never liked me, no matter what I do for you as a friend you have never taken me seriously. You love to embarrass me in front of other people everywhere we go". Be strong and know that you could of done better. And then next time, do better!

3. Refrain from attacking back. Most men and women's first response is to counter-attack criticism by saying something nasty about the person who is hurting you. Perhaps they may even bring up something embarrassing about that other person and throw it back in their face. If this is you, then it will be very hard to continue congregating within a circle of friends or hold down a job where you are working for someone else.

The very best advice that we can give you when it comes to defending yourself is often a completely straightforward and sincere apology. Trust me, it will go a very long way in both rectifying the situation and making you appear as a strong, confident, and professional man or women.



“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.”

-- Winston Churchill



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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Written by Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW, CEC
President, CounselingPros.com, Kenosis Counseling, Inc.
622 W. Valley View Drive
Indianapolis, Indiana USA 46217
(c) Copyright 2005 CounselingPros.com, Inc.