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Have you ever overheard people talking about couples that have been married for a very long time? One of things often said is how a couple will begin to look alike over time. How and why do you think this occurs?

This phenomenon parallels a tea bag being steeped in clear water. After a while the water takes on the color and characteristics of the contents of the tea bag. 

This is what happens with couples. They are both, at the same time, the "clear water" AND the tea bag -- Each saturating the other with ideas, attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, food choices and so forth. After a while there is a melting pot effect where they each more resemble the other, and this is so powerful that couples eventually begin to look alike. Powerful, eh?

Now, having a relationship with depression can be scarily the same. The depression tea bag will steep itself deeply in your life at least one time. Normally you will be able to take out the depression tea bag by adding new coping skills and continually diluting the mixture back to its original quality. "Clear water" is who you really are at your core. You have a base set of qualities that make up both your personality and what is most important in your life. It's your essence!

We all know that some teas are stronger than others. The depression tea bag is a strong, biggie-sized tea bag! It can powerfully impact your life, saturating you completely 
until you forget who you are. Depression becomes you!

When this happens you take on all the characteristics of depression, leaving much of who you are behind. How you walk will reflect depression. Your tone will reflect depression. Your moods will reflect depression. Your posture will mirror depression and so on.

It's been said that some people look at life through rose-colored lenses. When you become chronically depressed you look at life through ash-colored lenses. It taints how you see everything in your life.

To lend an example... I walked out into the waiting room to greet a new client. I extended my hand and introduced myself. The gentleman replied with, "Hello, I'm Mr. Depression!" In all fairness, he said this in a funny manner. We each had a chuckle, but it gave me automatic insight into how deeply depression had sunk into this young man. We'll call him John.

By the end of our initial session I was talking with John about how is life might be different if (listen closely here) he was a man "under attack from depression" vs. a man who "is depression." Do you see the incredible difference here?

If I AM DEPRESSION... if that's who I am, how in the world can I change WHO I AM? John immediately saw how he had over-identified with depression. He had lost his identity. This took about two years. His insight was a huge first step in putting distance between himself and depression.

In later sessions we had some fun. I had him create a name for the depression problem. Then he completed a biography statement of the depression problem, including traits, goals, dominant feelings etc. In a following session he brought a picture to represent the depression problem, introduced the problem to me by name and taught me about the problem using the mini-biography form I had given him. 

This added great distance between him and depression. We didn't stop there. His next task was to complete an exercise in re-acquainting himself with who he was at his core (outside of depression).

This was a powerful exercise having to do with death and what was most important to him as he imagined that he was in his final days here on Earth. Although a painful exercise, it is a direct path to the heart, making it very powerful. 

And once you strip away all the clutter in your life, your heart holds the truth about what is most dear to you -- 






To a happy & fulfilling life!

Dave Turo-Shields
Veteran Psychotherapist
Life Coach

Are You Ready To  BLOG?

I didn't know what a blog was until just a few weeks ago.  I'm assuming that may be the same for many of you.  I fell in love with the idea immediately.  It's like an online journal.

Here's what I envision... with your help I intend to establish an online depression recovery blog that is packed with useful ideas and tips from all of our own experiences.

Amazingly, depressed individuals are often the first to reach out to help others.   We struggle so deeply that  we have developed a big heart for seeing and responding to pain in other people.

I know there are many places already in existence where people can be part of forums or listservs dealing with depression.  I have been a part of at least a 100 of these over the past 8 years.  

My main concern has always been that the great majority of people in these other places live IN the problem!  Please refer to the main article of this ezine to know what I mean here.  It's so easy to be swept away by depression.  When that occurs our outlook and output becomes bleak.

This blog is intended for the sole purpose of recovery from depression.  In our blog, or online journal, we will live IN the solution.  In order to do so, here are the beginning guidelines for your submissions to the blog.


  1. Describe how you have hope in the face of despair.
  2. Tell us an inspiring piece of your story.
  3. Share what works for you to stay on top of depression.
  4. Let us know what inspires you.
  5. What's the magic in your depression recovery recipe?


  1. Don't just mention a problem without a solution.
  2. When responding to other people's blogs don't be disrespectful. ;-)
  3. No complaining (we don't want to feed depression!).
  4. If you have a question keep it positive and request the help you need.
  5. Don't be THE authority in giving advice.  Own your input as your own opinion. What you have to say  may work for many but not all.

I will review all submissions before posting them to the blog.  I will print first names only, to protect privacy.    Aliases or nicknames are acceptable.  Just let me know when sending your blog how you would like to be referred to.

Let's see how much of a hope-filled environment we can create for all who are here now and for those yet to come!

Don't be bashful, please funnel your thoughts into an email and send them right away.

Send Me A Blog Entry Right Away!


Visit the Blog Now

Featured Resource

Great news!  On my top ten list for nearly two years now has been to meet up with a programmer that could write a self-help software program for mental health.  Well, one has fallen into my lap.  Ken Lloyd contacted me this week and offered a review copy of his new software, "Patient Snapshot."  I was happy to review it, and I actually like it so much, I put it into practice immediately.  I love it.  I have sent feedback to Ken covering the great aspects of his software along with how I believe he could improve this creative and useful self-help tool.  Ken is a very nice guy, aiming to always increase the quality of his program.  Upgrades are free.  I'm really enjoying it and would rate it 8 on a scale of 10. 

Highly Recommended:

Patient Snapshot 


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