Living with Integrity
Webster defines integrity as
firm adherence to a code of moral or
artistic values: INCORRUPTIBILITY
an unimpaired condition: SOUNDNESS
the quality or state of being complete or
How do you know you are living with
integrity? There are so many signs that alert us when we are off the right
path. It would be impossible to list them all here, but let's try a few to
get you thinking about where your integrity is.
Can you sleep at night? Do you overeat? Do you have negative
thoughts/memories about someone you have had an interaction with in the last
week, month, decade etc.? Do you drink to "take the edge off?" Is
your temper short? Do you feel happy more or less of the time? Do you
struggle with guilt or shame? Do you feel like a "bad" person or
hold onto "righteous resentment?"
I hope these suggestions got the engine running upstairs. And please know, I
never intend to harm or shame you. That's not what the article is
about. It's about giving yourself a gift that is rightfully yours,
INTEGRITY. It's yours for the choosing. I have a simple recipe
you can use for living daily with integrity.
Here it is:
Whatever I "THINK,"
Whatever I "FEEL"
and whatever I "DO"
is "MY RESPONSIBILITY."
I know, I know, so many of you are already saying,
"Yeah, but ..."
"But Dave, what about that guy that nearly ran me off the road
My response: "What were you thinking, feeling and what did you do in
response? What are you going to do with those thoughts and feelings?"
"But Dave, my wife had an affair. Are you saying I shouldn't be angry
My response: "How are you going to let those thoughts and feelings
effect your life today and tomorrow, next year and 10 years from now?"
"But Dave, I've done horrible
things. How could I ever have integrity?"
My response: "Jesus gave his life so
that you could have integrity. Is your judgment above His?"
"But Dave, when I was a kid my father beat me over and over
My response: "How will you allow your thoughts and feelings over those
events shape your life positively or negatively from this point
In our culture we have made great strides to bring victims into the light
and out the shameful dark closets they've hid in for too long. We've seen
our TV role models step up and share abuses they have experienced in their
lives. All of this has done good things for you who've been wronged, but as
changes can go, they often go overboard.
And yes, we all do terrible things.
This is true. But, I still say to you that integrity is yours for the
having. It's a matter of choice. It's up to you.
You are so much more than your wounds. You are so much more than your
mistakes. Please be gentle, with yourself and with others.
Living with integrity is a wonderful recipe for being happy and having
peace. Have some!
Dave Turo-Shields (email)
Veteran Psychotherapist, Trainer &
www.Overcoming-Depression.com Sign up for this newsletter by
visiting either site above.
You are more
marvelous than you can ever imagine! It may be a
thought, a habit, an attitude or a value, but certainly you
have many gifts. Please take a moment and share
one of your gifts, which will definitely be what someone may
need to hear in our online "hope journal" for those
in recovery from depression.
"So near is falsehood to truth
that a wise man would do well not to trust himself on
the narrow edge."
One quick strategy to
see if you are living with integrity is to visit a
couple of the posted sites below and do a
in mind that living in integrity is like having harmony in
your life. It's similar to feeling like you're "in
a couple of sites I discovered with some fairly decent
integrity quizzes or statements on integrity.
Site Integrity Quiz
Words and Meditation On Integrity
Announcing: Due to
request I am now offering therapy sessions by
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