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ANNOUNCEMENTS - Help Yourself & Help Katrina Victims THIRD WEEK!

Feel doubly good about reaching out for help. You know you've been pondering lending yourself an extra hand in working towards your goals. You may have also asked, "What's the best way I can help with this bewildering disaster in Hurricane Katrina?" Well now, you can do both and feel good about helping the victims of the Hurricane Katrina natural disaster, as well as help yourself.

For the next 60 days I will donate 20% of all online service purchases to Luscious' Pantry. Luscious' whole life has been given to serving the poor. He runs The Lord's Pantry here in Indianapolis. My 6yo daughter, Sarah, says "Luscious is my grandpa!" He's a towering teddy bear of a man, always dressed in bibs and serving. His local vocation to serve the poor has always been more than he could really handle, but being the kind of man he is, he's begun a collection center now for Katrina victims. Your money will go directly for food and personal care items for those who are hungry, such as mothers who have no diapers for their infants or

If you'd rather donate a cash amount and don't feel you are currently in need of my services you can go to www.paypal.com and pay directly to my email address at turo-shields@sbcglobal.net. 100% of these donations will go to The Lord's Pantry for Katrina Victims. In the section for a "note" please write "Katrina Relief"

If you have any questions at all don't hesitate to call me at 317-865-1674.

Call 317-865-1674 and let me know. Leave me a voice mail. I want to help in ways you need help in.



The Marital Matrix Has You...

Do you ever have the feeling that there's a lot more you could have in your marriage? Ever feel guilty for feeling that way and say something to yourself like, "Hey, we have a good marriage." Who are you trying to convince?

There's something missing in marriage today, and you know it. It's as though we're plugged into a story about marriage that only allows so much bliss and happiness. In fact, there's a dominating belief in this story that you can only have bliss in the dating or early stages of marriage.

Come on, we've all heard people razing a newly engaged person. They're starry-eyed. They are full of dreams and see a passionate future together. When they approach the altar to deliver their vows, they mean it! Then they say, "I do," and sometime in the next three years they become plugged into the Marital Matrix.

After that, something begins to go dead -- the spirit of the marriage, the eros, the romance, the lightness etc. Does this sound familiar to you? None of us ever begin marriage believing this will be the destination, yet so many of you live there, starving in the "good enough" marriage.

We don't dare live dangerously and speak out for the extraordinary marriages we could have. Why? Look around. The average "happy marriage" is incredibly dull. We convince ourselves that this must be the pinnacle... this is as good as it gets.

Once in a while you see a couple out in public, frolicking, holding hands, all giggly and you look down on them, as if they just don't get it. Else you wished that you had a little bit of what you see, or both.

That once-in-a-while couple lives dangerously. They've chosen to break free from the Marital Matrix. They have chosen to claim an extraordinary marriage. They won't settle for less. You can too!

How foolish are you willing to be in your marriage? Are you willing to believe that you never have to "settle down?" Are you willing to be like you were in the beginning of your dating relationship? We all change, this much is true, and it calls us to be dynamic and grow with our marriages. Yet, this Marital Matrix installs a low fake ceiling for marriages that we almost all live up to. Are you sick of it yet? I hope so!

Get angry, unplug from this lie about marriage -- break through the fake ceiling. You know in your heart what your marriage was meant to be. Bring it back to life. Go for it.

My wife and I have created a couples fellowships group called the FFF group. It stands for Fun, Faith & Forward. We've been meeting for several months now. A spouse last week during the meeting referenced a discussion she had with a friend about our FFF group. Her friend moaned a bit in a concerned way, assuming the worst about why they were attending.

The wife in our group chuckled a bit as she recounted the story. She was particularly fascinated by how difficult it was for her friend to wrap her mind around the fact that couples were a part of this group, not because they were in dire straits, but because they wanted their marriage to be extraordinary. Her friend is yet another victim of the Marital Matrix.

The Marital Matrix has you... what will you do?



"The loving are the daring."

~~ Bayard Taylor



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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Written by Dave Turo-Shields, CEC, LCSW, ACSW
President, CounselingPros.com, Kenosis Counseling, Inc.
(c) Copyright 2005 CounselingPros.com, Inc.
Indianapolis, Indiana USA 46217